Mamogram

It is a funny word, I know its a verson of mammory - I used to work with a canadian man in the 80;s who told me when he finished with his big boobed girlfriend when he was at high school his friend shouted "thanks for the mamories" and everyone laughed but she never even let on to him after that, so its with these thoughts I find myself at the Breast Clinic at Wythenshawe hospital on the very last day of my two weeks summer vacation, hubs is with me for support and the place is packed out but very nice. I dont wait too long then I go into a room with a very nice (if a little short) nurse, she says as i am tall i would be better off having the mamogram standing up, its just an Xray of your boob no big deal but the equipment needs adjusting to your particular height and shoulder width, it was a bit like having two thick see through chopping boards with your boob in between and flattened to a very odd shape, it did cross my mind that somewhere out there in the great WWW there is probrably a group of grubby anoraked, cord wearing freaks who love to see such images, but then i figured well good luck to em...

I then had a scan to make sure nothing had been missed. The final consultation (all this took a couple of hours with weights in between) was with a specialist who asked lots of questions, did i breastfeed my children (when they were babies, obviously not now, they are after all 17 and 21 and it would be too weird for words) and loads of other questions, anyway the upshot is, my gp was right to refer me, but she could categorically say I had no abnormalities in my breasts, the lump she felt was a reactivated milk duct from the very mild effects of the mirena hrt inplant. She recomended I take a high dose of evening primrose available from Holland and Barretts and be on my way............

It was a relief, although I have to say I had blocked the what ifs away in a room in my mind.

thats all I have to say about boobs, floppy droopers, squirters

M

Anaphylactic Shock (almost)

Right, so if you read the last story "Big Knockers" you will know that a man in a suit with possibly undiagnosed taurettes syndrome chose to shout this in my ear..... thuse starting a chain reaction that had be relating the story to a few colleagues and my hubs who reminded me that I had been complaining about my right "big knocker", aching .........................

My gp refers me for a mamogram but in the meantime purely precautionary she prescribes a hefty dose of Penicillin antibiotics (one to be taken four times a day 500mg) this is as a "just in case" that my painful knocker isnt an infection duct or abcess.

The realist that I am I take the tablets make the appointment at the breast clinic and pack for my holidays (a week in wexford, followed by a few days in Lanberis) In all honesty I didnt give the situation a whole lot of head space, what will be will be and worrying wont change it. A day into the holiday and hubs comments "whats up with your face it looks all puffy, especially your lips and they have a line all round them", sure enough on closer examination my lips do seem to be plumped up, is it the new lip plumping action lip gloss? errr nope, next I encounter a full sprectrum of side effects, on explaining these to a young pharmacist (he must have been mortified) he told me to cease with the antibiotics and I needed piriton and antihists to stop the itching of anywhere on my body that had raw nerve endings (hmmmmmn) as we were on irish soil by this time a trip back to my gp' wasnt an option so i did what anyone would do, I topped up on the piriton, and drank copious amounts of guiness. it took a week but the itching stopped, I did however put on 5lds in weight.

M

Oh yeah, I have since found out my severe reaction is a forerunner to a complete Anaphylactic Shock which is very dangerous.

Big Knockers

It was a day like any other day, when after getting a lift into manchester by my son, I walk along market street with my daughter quietly talking about trivia when I am aware of a man in a suit coming towards me, very loudly in my ear he says

BIG KNOCKERS

then walks away, I dont dare turn around as there is always the possibility he is waiting for a reaction or something, my daughter says did he mean you mum? and I can only sumise that yes, as it was my ear he shouted it into he must have done.

Now that the focus is clearly on a part of my anatomy I have come to take for granted I must admit I am a mixture of shocked and amused. The story is relayed at least three times during the day and I mention it when I get home to my hubs, who laughs at first then says "didnt you say one of them was aching". This is indeed true and so the real story begins.......

I make an appointment to see my GP and explain the ache, she says she is going to refer me for a mamogram at the specialist hospital but as a precaution she gives me a very high dose of antibiotic and as she asks that question "are you alergic to penacilin" and I say no. Another adventure in Kennyland begins (actually two)