Poorly Cat........

A normal run of the mill tuesday morning was disrupted by a phone call from hubs, it went like this hubs .... maria, just check the driveway, I thought I saw something large and black as I left the house this morning, Me ....... nah, nothing there Next I get ready, check i have phone, kindle, handbag, purse key to lock up and on stepping out of the house and off the front step I lock up and there it is, a huge black cat, bloody and injured, with one eye open, on closer inspection its dead, I didnt touch it and noticed it was the same cat that had been prowling round the garden in the last few days, no collar, not sure if it was a domestic or a ferral, but it was big. As I am on the main road, gangs of school kids are passing and looking in at me looking at the dead cat wondering what to do, a few minutes pass and I look to see my usual 8.05am 256 strolling passed and all the top deck, look down at me and the dead cat too.... I do what I always do when hubs isnt in, I ask my neighbour bob. He gives me clear instructions (as any ex serviceman would) 1. cover the cat with black bin bag, put big stones round to stop the cover blowing away 2. Ring the council I do both, the second wasnt quite so easy as I had to choose out of 7 options, non of which made mention of a dead animal. I chose highway maintenance and then chose from another 6 options, eventually getting through to someone who asked is it on a public highway, is it causing an obstruction to pedestrials and/or traffic by the time I had the assurances of collection it was gone 9.30am, I was void of physical energy and emotionally drained and unfit for work, now you would think that was enough, but oh no, I had put a load in the washing machine leaveing a sock stuck in the door so my kitchen was a foamy wet mess, with water seeping up throught the mdf of the kickboards of my fitted kitchen, I sorted that out and decided the day would not be wasted if I could spring clean my living room, which I did, I also broke two orniments, one a royal dalton figurine, I managed to locate loctite glue and fixed the hand back onto the figurine .... upside down, thats the kind of day last tuesday was, and they say dont drink midweek? Mrs Mahoooooo

Poorly Car

Its sunday afternoon, I have just finished washing up, sprinkled Jamaican jerk marinade powder on the chicken breasts and put them back in the fridge according to instructions and about to flop on the settee with a pint mug of tea, the box of dairy milk my big brother gave me last week and a copy of woman and home and a knock at the door and the dreaded news...... Some complete bastard has smashed the passenger window of our car, this can only have happened between 2pm and 4pm today, that horrible shocked feeling of what do we/I do, what is the order of things, I mean I know the glass will need removing, my insurance will need phoning and we will have to inform the police but in what order and how and when I just dont know. If anyone says these things come in threes I will either A) never speak to them again B) tell them to fcuk off C) kill them I have wept, taken two pain killers, blamed feckles (then apologised) then blamed her again and apologised (you know how these kids leave all their stuff on display etc) but actually I wish I had left the door open because there wasnt anyhing worth the amount that the new window is going to cost me, as the complete contents was mostly tapes including bambi, snow white, the best of james, west side story, 101 dalmations three odd socks........................ Autoglass are coming between 7and 9pm, I am going for another sob, then a chocolate and maybe a pint of strong cider Mrs Mahoooooooooooooo

Birthday No: 45

Dear Lesley,

Well its my 45th Birthday this week, how do I feel about it? nothing negative, this is where I am, 45, I was actually thinking of somewhere really good to go when I celebrate my 50th so its all good, I was thinking Washington,Seattle, I dont do spain as I have said before Hubs tans like an angry farmer and to be honest when you get to your forties you can actually see the damage sunbathing authentic or Tantastic in the Precinct has done to some of my counterparts so I Know the evil that the sun can do to ageing skin (Sid James anyone?. So anyway back to 2012 and the impending birthday, I already have two birthday cards on the mantelpiece and one gift through the post, out of the three things to be opened one is from my mum the other two from work colleagues.

Despite pointing out a couple of budget gifts I would quite like, I had the age old question from the youngest "if i had to pick one flower that was my all time fave what would it be?"

well this year I am having some fun, after entensive googling I have come up with the Japanese lime green lilly - it only flowers once every decade and sure as hell wont be available in any prepacked bunches sold at Morrisons.

The conversation between youngest and first born will have taken place whilst they were eating a macdonalds breakfast and between mouthfulls of mc muffin and prob was nothing more than a few grunts with the words, mum, birthday, thursday, flowers within, how did I raise two unimaginative offspring? dont they know I would like nothing more than a collage or homemade card. I actually pointed out some childrens stickers books in Waterstones the other day and said I would really like to buy these, and was told, well dont they are for children not you.

fecking spoil sports, I will buy them myself on thursday with my own mum who will say

Well, you always did hear a different drummer................

yeah and it wasnt cozy powell (completely overated and voted for every year in kerrang rock comic)