Apple Bottom Jeans

Dear Peeps

The other week (after losing a stone, did I mention I lost a stone?) my jeans were lose on me and I needed a belt - to stop them falling down and showing my builders bum. I spotted some, but as I was so wrapped up against the cold I simply couldnt be bothered trying them on so I left it, this was to be the right thing to do because.....

I got a phone call from a representative from The Perfume Shop, you know the one they have in the arndale when you have just spent £45 on a perfume and you see it in there for £32 and you feel suitabley gutted, yes that one. Anyway a while ago I had filled in a prize draw in there and won the runner up prize of

A pair of Apple bottom jeans
Apple Bottom T shirt
Apple bottom handbag

As I had to collect the package from the post office (they always try to deliver when I am at work, whats that about? shouldnt they have an evening shift or something) I carried onto work and opened the large box containing the above beautifully wrapped in tissue paper and a long gold ribbon. Wonderful, there is nothing like it

A colleague came and in when I showed her the jeans she started singing...

Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans
Boots with the fur
The whole club was lookin at her

I tried them on and they fit like a glove (which is a stupid saying as I only have two legs) the t shirt is fine too, the bag well after consultation with my teenage daughter who pulled a face like she had been sucking a lemon (not an apple) we may see if we can get anyone interested on ebay....

As the works christmas do is coming up soon at the Circle club I have changed the lyrics to

She had them Apple Bottom Jeans
the boots dont have fur
No one in the circle club is looking at her
She looks about 43 and is dying for a pee
if she drinks much more she'll lose her door key


Next week I should be taking delivery of the Bespoke Harris Tweed Jacket for sean

Aparently it will make him "ooze sophistication and style"

laters kids.......