One Written off car.............
Hubs car is a pristine pergeot 406, ten years old (almost bionic with the amount we have spent in new parts) and worth much more to us (no car loan outstanding) than it would be if it was written off like it was this week. It started with a clock that wont tell him the correct time on the dashboard, I would have left it and maybe sellotaped an old watch on the dashboard but then I am not Hubs (perfectionist aint in it) he finished work early and drove to the usual pergeot garage on his way home, and wham someone behind him and not watching what they were doing has driven into the back of him, apologetic and fed up as the guity party was it wouldnt bring our beloved car back. So the trip the the garage ended up being one to force the boot to close and the clock on the dashboard became unimportant. He started the process of reporting the incident immediately, and said apart from a head ache that wouldnt go didnt appear to have any injuries. The next morning he could barely get out of bed althought the headache had gone (thanks co-codomol).
Pierced Septum.....
While all this is going on little feck who cares not a jott about anyone else (its getting worse) in planet feck all that matters is feck related things. this week its" getting her septum piered", I must admit i said no before i realised what a septum was ((I figured it couldnt be anything i would approve of as the nostrol and both ears are already pierced (one stretched to an 18 whilst we were away on holiday). I knew good old fashioned forbidding wouldnt work so i used santa and said "if you have anything pierced or tattoed you can forget christmas presents", I know its lame but i dont have a lot to play with hear.
This didnt go down well in planet feck and after a scream she slammed the door so hard the whole front of the house shook, and what made this much worse was that our beautiful double glazed door had three of the locks out so now it wont shut properly. All this before i have had a morning cuppa really is too much. So now as well as being without a car, having to get the written off one collected and take delivery of a temporary car, I also have to sort out my front door too and all in the lead up to christmas.
Tattoes and piercings - the law on tatts and piercings is that it is illegal for a person under 18 to have one done, hmmmn now thats funny seeing as when i went on holiday in june and left my young person in the care of an old person of pensional age she got on the 256, walked down oldham street and into aflecks palace and had her nose done and her ear stretched into a fleshole( i think she is an axxhole for doing this but hey what do i know)
aparently I should "encourage my young person to use washable tattoes and instead of piercings have a look at the many fake ones out there, yeah this book is fake.
other books i have been disapointed with include a childbirth book by Shiela Kitzinger or something like that, she said you can have a baby without needing to resort to drugs (what! get me as many as is humanly possible i feel like i am passing a bowling ball!) and what about Miriam middle class Stoppard assuring me that i could freeze my placenta to eat at a later date, i am sorry miriam it looked like a raw haggis and even in these credit crunchy times, i would rather eat smartprise sausages and 8pence noodles.... now saving it to feed to fecky and her vegetarian friends brings a smile to my face just thinking about it and assuring them that despite the meaty taste its actually made from a very exclusive and expensive protein made from bean curd and only available at Selfridges food hall.
1 comment:
Yes remember Raj Paussaud and the Stretford library debarcle? Those men overturned the table when they heard he wasn't coming! Actually I am probably exaggerating a tad - but it makes a good story to tell the kids!
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