white jeans

White jeans, who do I think I am Liz hurley, well maybe not quite she does own at least 28 pairs of the things.....

But courtesy of my fave charity shop in urmston, i got a brand new pair for just £4.00, the tags hadnt been removed, the spare button was still on the label and maybe they had been worn once, so home with me they came. I put them on with a longish stripey tunic (I had to as I had only had them on two mins and got a squirt of fresh orange juice on them and the stain just spread. I had espadrilles on and my messy hair piled up on top so the pre raphelite curls tumbled down my face.... as I left the house I said to my youngest "do me a favour and dont get mad, but will you not use all the petrol up in my car" and she said, hmmmmmn ok, but only if you do me a favour, and shave that moustache off .............. now I know Liz Hurley hasnt got kids as old as mine but if she did surely they wouldnt be so brutally honest.......

thats it, I have to say though white jeans are not "serviceable" as my mother would say, you can only wear them once as they become almost walking evidence of what you have eaten, where you have sat and what you have done, so no wonder Liz has 27 pairs of the things.

Maria

Speed Reading .......

Last week I opened the post at home and along with the usual rubbish, i found something from the DVLA my first thought was OMG what have I done, how much will it cost me and can I get away with it.....

I was going to say I read it but I didnt, I speed read and saw that it had been 10 years since I passed my driving test and that my photo driving license needed updating and this would cost me a crisp £20.... plus the cost of the snaps, which these days is around a fiver....

Now these snaps cant be done just anywhere and at anytime, I needed to make sure I was in full makeup and hair done (this snap is going to last me till I am 54, its got to be good).

I admit I focused on that and had my snaps done, just afterwards my daughters boyfriend said "whats up with your eye", on checking in a mirror, I had indeed burst a bloodvessel and looked like an extra from beetle juice.... The snaps dont show it very much and after spending a fiver well they will just have to do.

Next the whole lot stays on a sideboard for a week, as I pass it every day and think - right I must do that. So today I come to fill in the forms and write the cheque and I realise the snap could get rejected on two counts

Redeye and Smiling.

The covering letter I have attached goes like this....


Dear Sirs

I understand the photo provided for the updated card has certain requirements and does state, it should be free from redeye, and your mouth should be closed.

I had trouble with both of these requirements as I have had a virus which left me with some facial paralysis as well as a burst blood vessel in my eye, although it looks like a grin it was the best I could manage under the circumstances.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me on the above mobile number if necessary.

Yours faithfully


Mrs M

feedback on mahoo40@gmail.com would be much appreciated

Cheap date .......

I remember many years ago someone saying they were able to "stretch a dollar", and Its a phrase that more or less sums up what I try to do, I can sniff out a bargain or shortcut a mile off, mainly because I have had to in the past, NOUGHT PENCE is my phrase, but I allow work colleagues and friends free reign with the phrase and I do like to pass on a bit of thrift as I go......

Each week on a wednesday in manchester they give out a magazine called shortlist, its mostly for men, but I have a flick through it, they occasionally have a page on a new film thats comeing out and you can go on a website and put in a code and if your quick off the mark (you cant leave this till lunchtime, it needs doing no later than 9.10am) you can nab yourself a pair of tickets to a preview the following week, I was quick enough (like i said you snooze you lose) and I emailed my soon to be married mate Julia, she met me in town after work, she had vouchers for a coctail for each of us at the posh bar in Harvey Nicks (nought pence) and we checked out the marked down corner in waitrose within boots on market street, where we managed to get ourselves a cesar salad for £1 each (full price £3.59) and a couple of indulgent choc desserts for £1 for the two (full price £2.80) two bottles of water and we were good to go.

We got ourselves settled in the comfy seats at the end of an aisle just as the trailers were finishing and the preview of Cowboys and Aliens came on....... we couldnt beleive Harrison Ford is 69 years old, but I think the people sat near us couldnt beleive we had paper serviettes tucked in the top of our t shirts and were eating our tea. As we crunched our croutons and giggled we decided it was a bit like having a meal on a plane.......

We must be getting tame in our old age as the drink we went for after the film was a large latte each.......

Cowboys and Aliens was good, but I would say that as it cost me nothing.

Sorry by my own admission thats a bit of a boring story, but what do you think, let me know at

mahoo40@gmail.com

Thanks

M

The Bride and Groom

Aww here they are My good Friend Julia and Her new hubs James, I didnt even ask her if she was changing her surname, but I am going to sing Mr and Mrs all the way through when I next meet her, Mr and Mrs, be there for each other, Mr and Mrs, friend and lover, think of the future etc......

I used to watch that with my Nana and in the school hols and I remember one of the questions was

Doe your husband take his sock off

a) once he is in bed
b) before he gets in bed
c) keeps them on in bed

and my Nana was certain he kept them on, but he didnt he took em off before he got in bed, she said "Hmmmn I bet they have central heating, they look the sort who would"....

we didnt have central heating and for anyone who grew up without it, well we all kept our socks on.......

Anyway back to the happy couple.....

When she is back from her honey moon I have a very important question to ask and nothing to do with socks..... its this

Do you want to see Colombiana, as I have two preview tickets for the printworks for tuesday 6th September 6.30pm.........

My friend Julia....

I have known Julia since meeting at a WRVS run play group in 1994, I cant remember how we got chatting but she had a silver cross pram with a chunky baby boy called Jake in and a little girl called Holly sat on the top, Julia was easy to talk to accepting of everything and everyone, and a breath of fresh air and we became friend. Over the years our kids have grown and (oh this is starting to get a bit soppy and humdrum for my liking....) we have gotten into a few scrapes and supported each other through some crazy times, I remember accompanying her to toys r us Altrincham, while she talked the Manager into giving her a refund for a headless barbie doll (surely the fact it has no head should be grounds for a refund, what kind of shoddy workmanship is this? she said, I thought "I can learn so much from this woman", I indeed I did.....) she got the refund and I am sure the manager still uses this as an example of odd requests in powerpoint presentations to new managers up and down the country to this day.....

The picture above is of her with a published author (as I enter so many competitions I sometimes find myself on invite lists for things and this one came through as..... Would you like to meet a published author in selfridges, Trafford centre next thursday, bring a friend) the friend I chose was julia as she never asks too many questions and just goes along with it, we met the author, she gave us a nought pence signed copy of her new book (a love story in sunny climes) we had a couple of glasses of fizz, some canapes (oh we do love the canapes) and also a nail incs nail polish worth £11. All very nice as experiences go........

if you liked this almost story email me @

mahoo40@gmail.com

I crave feedback, pleeeeeeese

MariaX

I predict a riot.... and a lost budgie too..

What is going on with the scaremongering rumours in Town tonight? The police say calm down. Some businesses are closing, others braving it and I fell into the "braving it" category,I was supposed to be meeting my big bruv for a cuppa at the starbucks in st Annes square at 5.30pm tonight, after work for us both a lovely leisurely catchup, and yes I had kept myself posted on the potential "riots" in manchester, but as most of the rumours had been just that, I figured it would be 5 hoodies and three chavs on small bikes, and most of their time would be taken up making sure their tracky bottoms stayed tucked in their socks...... so I didnt change my plans and waited outside the coffee shop for my brother.... after 15 mins I give him a ring, he is about to leave work and seems as non plussed as I do about the rumours, just before he arrives the lad from starbucks comes out and says his manager has advised him to close the branch but he gave me two free vouchers for my next visit (which was very nice).... So big bruv arrived and we changed venue to the a branch of Spoons, the one called water house, it all seemed quiet on that side of town so I was halfway through my catchup and latte before I checked my mobile and realised I had four missed calls and five texts...... they consisted of

mum get out of town they have set Miss Selfridges on fire on market street
mum the buses are terminating outside the city centre and the mets have stopped running
and finally

mum this might be one of those times you shouldnt have your phone on silent...

when I looked around weatherspoons there was no indication of what was going on outside, oh dear....

We walked to deansgate locks and I got firstborn to come and collect me, thank the lord, we saw gangs of chavs going into town for some nought pence "late night shopping".... on getting home hubs said, never mind all that what are we going to do about this and he points to a budgie in a makeshift cage (the cage is our neighbours home made *squirrel catcher)... I peered in to find a frightened feathered thing which took me right back to the 70's and my grandma lambs house, she always had a budgie called Joey - where are these ancesters when you have proper questions? so as I pour myself a pear cider, completely breaking the NO MIDWEEK DRINKING RULE, I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do about the little bird that has now stopped shaking, puffed up its feathers and gone to sleep, I have put an old teatowel over the cage and checked he has enough bird seed and water, we dont do pets, we are all out every day, I suppose tomorrow could be spent looking for the nearest sanctury on google.....

and I am left thinking seriously did all that really happen....

*our neighbour humanely catches the squirrels and releases them into the wild - I have no idea why.

** Sean found the budgie on the school fields being hunted by two nasty magpies, he rescued

Lincoln Park Zoo and Ka bobs for Breakfast...

Today I looked at the pop up pocket map of chicago (with a snap of the blues brothers on the front) and thought we should cat the local bus to Lincoln Park and the city zoo, we got our all day tickets from Wal- greens (seriously I wish I had shares in that place, they are everywhere and whoever heard of a pharmacy that sells food and booze?) we caught the 151 bus up to the area known as Lincoln Park and got off at Dickens Avenue, after a walk up some leafy roads we come to the area they used to film The untouchables, leafy and individual houses, lovely. realising we had again forgotten all about breakfast (well apart from the two slices of Giodarnos pizza from the other night that is)... this was a neighbourhood with very few actual franchises, family run businesses all over, we find somewhere like looks greek and after a look along the menu, we decide on chicken kebabs, or as they say here Ka bob, salads and sodas you can refill until your so bloated you can burp the alphabet.....now you wont see that on sessamee street.....

Next we find Oz Park, so called as the area had the nickname of the emerald city due to the amount of Irish who live there,and appropriately enough there are massive scultpures of the main characters from the film, Dorothy and toto, she even has shiny red slippers on, the tin man, the lion and the scarecrow. There wasnt any witches I suppose that could frighten the kids.

Lincoln zoo wasnt far and as its a city zoo its free, yes nought pence so anyone can go, non of the expense of Chester Zoo we have had to find in the past, and kids are the same anywhere the monkey show there red bottoms and the kids laughed and pointed, although I did over hear some teenagers asking if the apes were male or female and the reply he got was why do you fancy it?

Moving right along to a water fountain where we gladly fill up our bottles, and over the freeway bridge on foot to the beach, there is a public warning about fog which says people can only go in the lake for a couple of feet as the lifeguards wont be able to see them. I looked in the distance and saw a man on a horse, maybe it was the loan ranger........