Goodbye to the fantastic 2011

I have had all kinds of years and 2011 was one I would like to keep for a bit longer, but as I dont have magic powers (dratt) I will have to stick with convention and the real mortal world, in about 20 minutes I will have to raise a glass with hubs and hope 2012 is as good as the one we are kissing goodbye to.

It was the year my youngest lovingly referred to as "feckles" (said like freckles with out the R) the name is of course a re jigged feck, fecky from the irish often used in phrases such as feck off, you little fecker etc..... turned 18, learnt how to drive, passed her test and went halves with me on our KA, she also headed to NY to celebrate this coming of age (although she couldnt raise a glass unless it contained a non alcoholic beverage, still), all achieved by working and saving her own money - there are very few who could manage that, but feckles is strong minded and determind she will achieve anything she puts her mind to, I have no doubt.

It was the Year I won very little, but I am thinking of it as a farmer would a fallow field, having a rest from everything before being replanted with crops for the next year - crop rotation in the middle ages anyone?

It was a year my eldest known as Leesy peasy (but god only by me)started working from home (I am jealous of his oh so easy commutes from the back bedroom to our front room) he is now an expert on under the hammer, and all those day time programmes his grandma Kenny watches. He also has lots of travel including various parts of England, Ireland and Scotland. There is talk of him moving out and getting his own place, at which a real of "men behaving badly" runs through my mind........

It was the year my hubs turned a very grown up 50, well someone did say middle aged but I think thats a tad ambitious I know of no one in either family who got a telegram from the queen (If you get my drift). Although my dear old former neighbour Ethel will be 105 in May 2012, so who knows.

The only thing I can think of that I will mis is my youngests first proper relationshop ending, he was and still is a lovely lad and was a very welcome addition to the family, anyone reading this who hasnt experienced it wont understand and those that do will be nodding to themselves, as we know all things end but not always by mutual agreement.

God Bless us one and all

Saturday Night Fever.......

On waking on Saturday morning I did feel a little drained but hey who doesnt when they work full time, I had had almost 11 hours kip after drinking just two delish glasses of red and I was ready for a couple of days off.

I did some mega house work and went for the burn whilst dressed in my extreme yoga outfit and went for the burn whilst hoovering the hall stairs and landing and that cupboard we keep the crisps....

Dropped a bag off at the charity shop and bought a loaf and I was home within the hour, and then I started going down hill rapidly, I felt hot and sick and had a banging headache. And that was saturday its now Tuesday and I havent left the house since, its all the symptoms of a cold without the snotty nose I had a fever that broke last night, I kept thinking of all those old films where the doctor would say " the next 24 hours are crucial" and they all had very stern faces. Of course I didnt get any of that treatment, mostly it was what we gonna do we have run out of toilet rolls and butter? and I had to give a list and some spare change from my purse to my youngest to go to the shop for essential provisions whilst I sweated and halucinated along the following lines.......

Saturday Night
I dreamt I was waiting for a 309 at a bus stop in didsbury from 3.30 to 5.30 and each time one came no matter how much i put my hand out they slowed down then sped off ...............


Sunday Night - I dreamt I was someones wedding planner and they wanted to arrive at the church on their own on a white horse, they wanted party favours on the cheap and I suggested little bags filled with licorice alsorts and we were looking at reams of organza and I was thinking how did I get roped into this?

Monday Snooze 1 - My black winter coat somehow ended up on a hanger hung on the front of my wardrobe so whilst I was dipping in and out of sleep with a temperature I had the added bonus of thinking the grim reaper was hovering too.. this got tangled up in my thought processes as my mum in laws sister is being cremated on tuesday and there had been a discussion on who was attending, poor aunty midge, but I am way too young (and healthy) to be joining her so when I woke up properly I asked one of the kids to hide the coat as it gave me such a fright.......


Monday Night - I dreamt I was taking minutes at an important meeting and kept sitting down then forgetting something from my desk, this went on and on until my manager said " what on earth is wrong with you, I wont put up with this much longer you are a disappointment to me and i think you better look for another job".......

that was the worst one, yes worse than the reaper, so much so I had to touch base and phone work just to hear a friendly voice......and then I needed to raid the cupboards for cake, chocolate or anything with zero nutritional value but lots of sugar

No more sweats today, I am going back tomorrow and so very glad I am on the right side of the lurgy......there is a faint possibility I have taken paracetomol and codeine for more than the recomended three days before consulting a doctor..but hopefully no one will snitch on me

Maria

Singing and Dancing n stuff

As I say frequently to my children, the difference between a bad idea turning into a good idea is about 3 pints, so the copious amounts of red wine I drank after our annual Christmas works do more than made the difference, We had a lovely three course meal in Beluga with the added bonus of a full bottle of wine per person, despite my protests of "I wont be able to manage that on my own" not only did I but all my colleagues did too and some, on settling the bill and walking upstairs to the bar with our 2 for 1 vouchers, I spotted a discarded glass of red and slurped that too, which is why it was a good idea that my next drink was water, onwards to Corbieres because they have a juke box and by now I wanted to sing loudly whilst forgetting the lyrics of old songs and dance and force anyone in my vacinity to dance too.....

the juke box fired up and the first track came on and I was up........ singing..... or shouting actually.....Denis Denis, I've got a crush on you, Denis Denis, I'm so in love with you, Oh when we walk it always feels so nice, And when we talk it seems like paradise, Denis Denis, I'm so in love with you............

and then

Echo and the bunny men start up with ............Stab a sorry heart, With your favourite finger, Paint the whole world blue, And stop your tears from stihhhhinging
Hear the cavemen singing, Good news they're bringing


Seven seas,Swimming them so well, Glad to see, My face among them, Kissing the tortoise shell and continuing with

A longing for
Some fresher feeling
Belonging
Or just forever kneeling
Where is the sense in stealing
Without the grace to be it

Seven seas
Swimming them so well
Glad to see
My face among them
Kissing the tortoise shell



Yes your right Corbieres doesnt have a dancefloor, just a few squares of lino in the vacinity of the gents toilets, like I said before the difference between a bad idea turning good is just a few pints of lager or way too much red wine....

Seven seas, swimming them so well, glad to see my face amongst them kissing the tortoise shehllllllllllll

The Ghost of Christmas's Naff

In my 44 years I have had many different kinds of Chrismas's some better than others and never two the same, there was one where I got a wendy house and a tea set, and I spent most of the day in the house like someone who didnt want to be disturbed, my brother pushed a bottle of panda pop in an unaturally coloured mixture that I used in the teaset, it was a synthetic raspberry flavour, December 1972
I remember one with us sitting round the table, my nana, me and my brother and a very drunk stranger sat with us, I can see his smile now, it was so wide it looked like his face was melting and his eyes were all blury, he was unaware my mum and dad were in the kitchen arguing, along the lines of....... "but we dont even know him", " I know Chris but he had nowhere else to go, what was I to do leave him there"? "yes, you were" this man was a drinking buddy of my Dad's from the working mens club and very obviously down on his luck, his wife had chucked him out and my dad felt sorry for him, after all 'tis the season to be jolly and I am sure he wasn't till he came to ours.

He managed to eat, although it was very messy and then he had a sleep on the settee with a couple of coats thrown over him in our back room, later on he watched the Morecombe and Wise Christmas Special, I had a Starsky and Hutch colouring set and he plaited my long hair then cried and said he missed his family, to which my dad opened up a Party Seven (huge can of boozy bitter with a strange rubber stopper on it, it was all the rage along with peanuts in a can in the mid 70's) in those days it was perfectly acceptable to drink when your life was going down the toilet, oh how times have changed (actually they havent its just not seen acceptable anymore despite people still doing it), there was no counciling readily available and i dont suppose that strap line at the bottom of the programmes that is all to familiar now was invented.... December 1976
We moved house a couple of years later, my mum worked full time, she was worn out and as we all know the minute you finish for Christmas you get the flu,I was 12 and under the watchful eye of mum I wrapped my own presents (never have I wanted to look through a Jackie annual so much, even ill she didnt miss a trick) December 1978.
The one where I went out on Christmas Eve, got bored with my parents company in the Working Mens Club (I should have stayed it really was just like Phoenix Nights, but not in an ironic way) I foolishly got a taxi to the Railway Public house in Reddish, drank four witches hats (cider, blackcurrent and pernod) had a good time until someone put the bay window through, we all got chucked out and I became entangled with two fighting gangs, had my nose broken and my handbag stolen) I didnt half sober up quick, they caught the boy who headbutted me and the case went to court the following April, he said I knifed him in his thigh, I stood up and said, of course I didnt (all those years watching crown court with me Nana wasnt for nothing, I gave a good performance my dad said. December 1984.

Before I knew it my childhood was over and I was 20 moving into my own house with future hubs to be, we signed on the dotted line, got the keys and celebrated with a Huge Dutch Pancake each, were in for December 18th, by the 20th I had bought a tin opener, we had two bean bags and the oldest black and white tv, that was more black than white and watching anything was indeed a multicultural experience, I think we had my mums garden furniture, the only new thing we had was a double bed and it was the first time I had slept with a duvet or continental quilt as they were known in the 80s December 1987.
I have missed out a few horrors, but I think its just to say that it aint Hollywood or Miracle on 34th Street, its real life and a few things matter, first its worth remembering the shops are only closed for one day, so you dont need to stockpile food and drink. dont be greedy.

Where children are concerned it can be fairly tricky to keep up the old Santa lie, one year Hubs told First born Santa was dead to be fair it had been a rough time, we had our tv repossessed (we paid 22.50 a month, for tv, video from granada and i was behind three months and they came and took it), we were behind on our water rates, they sold the debt to a debt collecting company, well I say company they were thugs and I am sure it wouldnt be allowed now, anyway, Christmas was coming and I did the only option open to me, I bought leesy peasy two major items from a littlewoods catalogue and paid it back the following January to July,I think it was a Guitar and a Lego castle December 1993

I am going to finish with a Christmas that floats into my mind often, my 6 year old desp wanted inline skates, it really wasnt an unreasonable request, but scaping together the 60 quid wasnt possible, until I spotted them in T J Hughes for 14 pounds, I got them, checked the size ect and he was made up with them on Christmas day, I put the baby in the pram and we walked to the park that had the best flat surfaces to practice on , only to find they were the right size but were two right feet, he was gutted, we walked back home silently, and the following day I took them back, the day after we did the same trip just the two of us this time the the Park with the flat surfaces, (I wanted to give him my full attention) only to find we had two left feet, as I was taking them off and handing him his trainers he said, take them back to the shop and get your money back it doesnt matter now, and thats what I did, a look of utter disapointment, however the boy is now 23 and is able to relay this story annually and to his utter advantage (in so many ways) its loved so really its a gift that just keeps giving December 1997


right I am off now to wrap sprouts in discarded ferrara rochet wrappers, it gets em everytime

Ho Ho whatever

Mahooo

Things are looking up......

I have won a competition yee har, its been a while but it happens, I just take a deep breath and continue with my formula and eventually a ripple, then a wave then I get out me surfboard and ride those wonderful winning waves of prizes.......

the email said...... Dear Maria, congratualations on winning first prize in the photographic competition, yours was the most original entry of you reading a maggie Steifler teenage horror fiction book at the feet of the Marilyn Monroe statue in chicago, would you be good enough to give me a postal address and I will send out your cheque for 100 pounds in due course......

and that was the beginning of a pretty good week, ok, it rained, it was cold, the bus didnt always come on time for my commute into manchester, but my ipod was with me and I had two new albums to check out whilst reading the metro and I had a 100 quid I hadnt been expecting.

I do wonder if there was a sign or a hidden message, as you may not know I am being treated for four particularly difficult to shift veruccas (at my age and I havent been to Reddish Baths since the late 70's!) after continuing the regime at home until my next appointment, two have retreated altogether, one is still being tricky and finally the last one has got a smiley face on it, I kid you not, I took a picture on my new smart phone and clear as day there are two dots for eyes and a big smile,it looks a little like one of those potatoe smiles you give kids for their dinners, the frozen ones.

The good side of me, thinks, well anything could happen all is well and the naughty side thinks, ha, you wont be smiling when the chiropodist gets hold of you on 21st December (next appointment), now if we still had thats life with Esther I could send it in there, but as we dont, I have forwarded the snap to one very trusted friend for her expert opinion.

hmmmmmmm

All things end

I knew I would have to go through this again and probrably again in the future , I have ended up with a relapse in the old gastric reflux problem, my IBS is back and I have cried Lake Windermere.

My youngest has split with her first love after almost two and a half years and I feel bereft, this lovely young man has been a feature in our home and become an extra member of the family and now without much warning he wont be coming round anymore and its over...

I have been through all this before November 2007 (what is it about November?) when first born and his first love finished, although it was done in a much messier way that involved a crashed car, a lost shoe and him being caught walking home dishevelled with a "new friend" in a state of inebriation, in fact messy doesnt even begin to describe the end of that liaison.

The end of Feckles and Sebster was less messy but tremendously painful and unexpected too. I miss him and his family and yet I do know that when couples split even young ones or maybe especially young ones there comes a time when you have to choose and you always choose your own its instinct. Staying in touch although seems possible at first you begin to realise it cant work because it hints at the possibility of a reconcilliation that wont happen.

I have been as concerned about Sebster as I have about my own Feckles but I know he has a good family around him and will recover and as they say it is better to have loved and lost than never have to loved at all (Not sure I beleive it but as it was probrably written by someone more intelligent than me I may try to)

Self preservation kicks in and thats how you get over awful things that happen that hurt you.

Answering my feckles sob wridden question "Mum does everything have to end at some point" I said yes, everything, good times, bad times and ultimately life, which isnt a cheery thought but a realistic one.

thats all I have to say about that.

MediaCity

If you live in Manchester or Salford, you cant have not noticed the new MEDIACITY, the metrolink has a new stop (8 minutes from Piccadilly Station to Mediacity on the tram is advertised and as I have tested this out the timing is pretty acurate), BBC are moving or already have moved from London to Manchester, I never thought that would happen, I was even wondering if they would be replicating the bluepeter garden..... not sure if all broadcasting is moving... but as me and hubs were off on thursday we had a mooch around the complex, we parked up in the multistory, bit expensive at 3 quid for two hours and 5 quid for four hours. Armed with my 5 pound voucher from the new Booths store we parked up and treated ourselves to a couple of bottles of wine (half price this week) some Mrs Kirkhams smoked cheese, the staff who work at Booths are trained and experts in their field, the cheesemonger (just think how ace that would look on a business card). we looked at some christmas speciality ales (Booths had over 200 real ales and the prices on the whole were similar to Sainsbury's or Tescos - a few this weeks specials with 50p knocked off made them a particular bargain) back to the christmas ales there was one called Naughty Elf that was 9% and another which was 11%, a couple of those on a cold winters night and you would be comfortably numb thats for sure.

Thrilled with my new Booths hessian bag and posh contents we continued our look round the Media city complex, we saw a street dancing group warming up for an outside shoot and spotted a costa coffee and booths cafe inside. There were signs for studio audiences which I may have to look into for a future experience, I have been in a studio audience before but it was in the 70's, it was Cheggers Plays Pop, so maybe its time to revisit that and add on a more current experience.

Before we went back to our car I spotted the Tardis and forced hubs to have his snap with the Daliks and had a little fantasy about being Dr Whos next assistant........

Chutney making

I do like to try new things and sometimes I like them and other times I know I wont be doing it again (I am talking hobbies here nothing carnal, if you dont mind). A couple of years ago I did a one day stand up comedy workshop and I loved it, though it was very hard and out of a class of 12 maybe three were funny, I wasnt one of them, its about more than a quip that makes people chuckle its about timeing and I didnt have it, and as with things I find hard,like motorway driving and backing school books, If i never quite master them I do just move on (without any feelings of guilt or feelings of having failed, surely thats a success in itself?) anyway last year I tried horseriding and It was ok, but I have no idea why anyone would want to take it up, I came away smelling of horse and I wonder maybe if the horse came away smelling of me and equally sickened.

This year I at the Manchester Food Festival I signed up for the "Chutney making workshop", it was based in one of the large tents in Albert Square and along with a handful of others we chatted, chopped and took it in turns to work through the recipe, it took over one and a half hours and although the social side was nice, I met the team from Trove foods in Chorlton who told me they do Autumn forraging sessions (didnt sign up for that as I remember looking for a certain type of mushroom from a library book with a particularly unsavoury group of "mates" in 4th year of Reddish Vale...., I certainly dont want to do that again) anyway back to chutney, we made Damson chutney and I discovered the difference between chutney and jam is onions and chillies. My finished product was poured into a sterilised Jar (this is particularly important especially the lid where bacteria can lurk) it looked very much the good life, but I can see now why people just go to the shop and buy it, its an awful lot of effort for something that may or may not taste nice.

Oh, yes and our group met Hugh Fearnley - Whittingstock, snap attached, i do like to scare a celeb, he wouldnt stand close to me for the snap so I tugged his shirt, hence the fearful expression.

Laters

Not sure what I might try next.........

Mahoo

Small adds and bargains

I do love a bargain, although I am a fussy penguin and walk straight out of a charity shop if it smells like an old folks home (actually one piece of information my dad told me many, many years ago was....... if you get on a plane for a long hall flight and it smells like an old persons house, get off, there is a good chance it could crash.......) At work we have a fantastic small adds section on our intranet, when I got my first car (just three years ago) I was thrilled to find it had an intact cassette deck, I know its not cool (I watch the inbetweeners) but as I have such fond memories of my first sony walkman - complete with the headphones with the orange foam covers for your ears (I kid you not, why on earth someone chose orange, well, it just beggers belief) I then found out that you cant buy tapes anywhere and making your own is too lengthy (see all that spare time we used to have before computers,cable tv,mobile phones) I put an add on my works intranet small adds, over the months my work colleagues from different offices across the country were kind enough to send me tapes, my faves being The best of the police, James and Blondie, I certainly blasted those three out, and yes at times if turned up too loudly there was a warble, but I seem to remember there always was with tapes. One I didnt enjoy was the best of the Pixies, the front cassette cover scared me, it had pictures of eyeballs hanging out of sockets and I had to take that to the charity shop, as it reminded me I should be ultra careful with my driving and not get distracted trying to locate my fave sing along tracks, and I know "best of's" are not for the real fans. Whilst on the small adds I noticed this one, and I am so tempted so thank god it wouldnt fit me, in fact quite who it would fit I really dont know, perhaps it isnt a reproduction at all, perhaps it is actually Hugh's

Reproduction jacket as worn by Hugh Jackman in 'X-Men Wolverine' This is an exclusive jacket and is stretchable and light on your body due to soft leather.
• 2 zip pockets
• 2 inner pockets
• 100% genuine leather
Size: 52” chest, 28” length, perfect condition, never worn
Just £60


thats all, I reckon at the age I am now, It wouldnt be a completely impossible notion to grow the pointy sideburns too, and chuck my tweezermans and magnifiying glass away ....... the freedom

Maria

Yes I am picturing myself wearing it on the bus into work on a dress down friday of course.........


Mrs K

The New Baby.......

The baby was due on Monday 3rd October and as monday, tues, wednesday came and went I was trying to guess the weight and sex and then last night at around 8.45pm, the phone rang, first born picked it up and it was good news, the baby had arrived safe and sound at 7.25pm that evening and weighed in at a very healthy 9LB 2oz, and was a beautiful baby girl they are naming Niamh (pronounced Neve - simply because in galic the ia together make a eeee noise and the mh make a vvvvv noise, the h is fairly silent as I hope are their many nights to come.....)

I checked the meaning of the name and it turns out in the Irish language it means bright, radiant and feminine, what a lovely way to be described......

I cant wait to meet this new little kenny and feel amazed to think its 18 and 23 years ago since I experienced the whole wonderful, exhausting and at times painful experience (although they do give you drugs and its legal and no dealer is involved)

Above is a snap of Niabh when she was still an inmate, I suppose we should have expected a good weight of a baby, but I was convinced we were having a boy.....

so thats 5 - 3 for the Kenny Girls........

Presents for Niamh and getting sidetracked by freebies

I was on a mission with a list to get something for our newly hatched baby niece Niambh

I purchased a couple of cards a beautiful white teddy bear called Henry from the very posh White Company (on King Street) I love that shop, its on my list of shops that make me feel calm, even if I dont buy anything, but of course today I did, he was beautifully packaged in one of their bags with ribbon on it, I then went to get some pink tissue for some expert wrapping (I will get feckles to do that I am fairly rubbish)anyway, on the way to all this I took a double take and noticed there was a section in the middle of Manchester Arndale set out like a beauty therapy room, they were giving out samples (full size samples if you dont mind) of their new shower gels, one per person, so naturally I managed to snaffle two. Then I asked if they were doing any therapies, and they said yes, turns out the general public had been a bit too shy and no one took them up on the offer, so I have a wonderful hand and cuticle massage whilst listening to soothing music on headphones, then I had a shoulder and back massage and as I trotted back to work I felt just a little bit smug........

white jeans

White jeans, who do I think I am Liz hurley, well maybe not quite she does own at least 28 pairs of the things.....

But courtesy of my fave charity shop in urmston, i got a brand new pair for just £4.00, the tags hadnt been removed, the spare button was still on the label and maybe they had been worn once, so home with me they came. I put them on with a longish stripey tunic (I had to as I had only had them on two mins and got a squirt of fresh orange juice on them and the stain just spread. I had espadrilles on and my messy hair piled up on top so the pre raphelite curls tumbled down my face.... as I left the house I said to my youngest "do me a favour and dont get mad, but will you not use all the petrol up in my car" and she said, hmmmmmn ok, but only if you do me a favour, and shave that moustache off .............. now I know Liz Hurley hasnt got kids as old as mine but if she did surely they wouldnt be so brutally honest.......

thats it, I have to say though white jeans are not "serviceable" as my mother would say, you can only wear them once as they become almost walking evidence of what you have eaten, where you have sat and what you have done, so no wonder Liz has 27 pairs of the things.

Maria

Speed Reading .......

Last week I opened the post at home and along with the usual rubbish, i found something from the DVLA my first thought was OMG what have I done, how much will it cost me and can I get away with it.....

I was going to say I read it but I didnt, I speed read and saw that it had been 10 years since I passed my driving test and that my photo driving license needed updating and this would cost me a crisp £20.... plus the cost of the snaps, which these days is around a fiver....

Now these snaps cant be done just anywhere and at anytime, I needed to make sure I was in full makeup and hair done (this snap is going to last me till I am 54, its got to be good).

I admit I focused on that and had my snaps done, just afterwards my daughters boyfriend said "whats up with your eye", on checking in a mirror, I had indeed burst a bloodvessel and looked like an extra from beetle juice.... The snaps dont show it very much and after spending a fiver well they will just have to do.

Next the whole lot stays on a sideboard for a week, as I pass it every day and think - right I must do that. So today I come to fill in the forms and write the cheque and I realise the snap could get rejected on two counts

Redeye and Smiling.

The covering letter I have attached goes like this....


Dear Sirs

I understand the photo provided for the updated card has certain requirements and does state, it should be free from redeye, and your mouth should be closed.

I had trouble with both of these requirements as I have had a virus which left me with some facial paralysis as well as a burst blood vessel in my eye, although it looks like a grin it was the best I could manage under the circumstances.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me on the above mobile number if necessary.

Yours faithfully


Mrs M

feedback on mahoo40@gmail.com would be much appreciated

Cheap date .......

I remember many years ago someone saying they were able to "stretch a dollar", and Its a phrase that more or less sums up what I try to do, I can sniff out a bargain or shortcut a mile off, mainly because I have had to in the past, NOUGHT PENCE is my phrase, but I allow work colleagues and friends free reign with the phrase and I do like to pass on a bit of thrift as I go......

Each week on a wednesday in manchester they give out a magazine called shortlist, its mostly for men, but I have a flick through it, they occasionally have a page on a new film thats comeing out and you can go on a website and put in a code and if your quick off the mark (you cant leave this till lunchtime, it needs doing no later than 9.10am) you can nab yourself a pair of tickets to a preview the following week, I was quick enough (like i said you snooze you lose) and I emailed my soon to be married mate Julia, she met me in town after work, she had vouchers for a coctail for each of us at the posh bar in Harvey Nicks (nought pence) and we checked out the marked down corner in waitrose within boots on market street, where we managed to get ourselves a cesar salad for £1 each (full price £3.59) and a couple of indulgent choc desserts for £1 for the two (full price £2.80) two bottles of water and we were good to go.

We got ourselves settled in the comfy seats at the end of an aisle just as the trailers were finishing and the preview of Cowboys and Aliens came on....... we couldnt beleive Harrison Ford is 69 years old, but I think the people sat near us couldnt beleive we had paper serviettes tucked in the top of our t shirts and were eating our tea. As we crunched our croutons and giggled we decided it was a bit like having a meal on a plane.......

We must be getting tame in our old age as the drink we went for after the film was a large latte each.......

Cowboys and Aliens was good, but I would say that as it cost me nothing.

Sorry by my own admission thats a bit of a boring story, but what do you think, let me know at

mahoo40@gmail.com

Thanks

M

The Bride and Groom

Aww here they are My good Friend Julia and Her new hubs James, I didnt even ask her if she was changing her surname, but I am going to sing Mr and Mrs all the way through when I next meet her, Mr and Mrs, be there for each other, Mr and Mrs, friend and lover, think of the future etc......

I used to watch that with my Nana and in the school hols and I remember one of the questions was

Doe your husband take his sock off

a) once he is in bed
b) before he gets in bed
c) keeps them on in bed

and my Nana was certain he kept them on, but he didnt he took em off before he got in bed, she said "Hmmmn I bet they have central heating, they look the sort who would"....

we didnt have central heating and for anyone who grew up without it, well we all kept our socks on.......

Anyway back to the happy couple.....

When she is back from her honey moon I have a very important question to ask and nothing to do with socks..... its this

Do you want to see Colombiana, as I have two preview tickets for the printworks for tuesday 6th September 6.30pm.........

My friend Julia....

I have known Julia since meeting at a WRVS run play group in 1994, I cant remember how we got chatting but she had a silver cross pram with a chunky baby boy called Jake in and a little girl called Holly sat on the top, Julia was easy to talk to accepting of everything and everyone, and a breath of fresh air and we became friend. Over the years our kids have grown and (oh this is starting to get a bit soppy and humdrum for my liking....) we have gotten into a few scrapes and supported each other through some crazy times, I remember accompanying her to toys r us Altrincham, while she talked the Manager into giving her a refund for a headless barbie doll (surely the fact it has no head should be grounds for a refund, what kind of shoddy workmanship is this? she said, I thought "I can learn so much from this woman", I indeed I did.....) she got the refund and I am sure the manager still uses this as an example of odd requests in powerpoint presentations to new managers up and down the country to this day.....

The picture above is of her with a published author (as I enter so many competitions I sometimes find myself on invite lists for things and this one came through as..... Would you like to meet a published author in selfridges, Trafford centre next thursday, bring a friend) the friend I chose was julia as she never asks too many questions and just goes along with it, we met the author, she gave us a nought pence signed copy of her new book (a love story in sunny climes) we had a couple of glasses of fizz, some canapes (oh we do love the canapes) and also a nail incs nail polish worth £11. All very nice as experiences go........

if you liked this almost story email me @

mahoo40@gmail.com

I crave feedback, pleeeeeeese

MariaX

I predict a riot.... and a lost budgie too..

What is going on with the scaremongering rumours in Town tonight? The police say calm down. Some businesses are closing, others braving it and I fell into the "braving it" category,I was supposed to be meeting my big bruv for a cuppa at the starbucks in st Annes square at 5.30pm tonight, after work for us both a lovely leisurely catchup, and yes I had kept myself posted on the potential "riots" in manchester, but as most of the rumours had been just that, I figured it would be 5 hoodies and three chavs on small bikes, and most of their time would be taken up making sure their tracky bottoms stayed tucked in their socks...... so I didnt change my plans and waited outside the coffee shop for my brother.... after 15 mins I give him a ring, he is about to leave work and seems as non plussed as I do about the rumours, just before he arrives the lad from starbucks comes out and says his manager has advised him to close the branch but he gave me two free vouchers for my next visit (which was very nice).... So big bruv arrived and we changed venue to the a branch of Spoons, the one called water house, it all seemed quiet on that side of town so I was halfway through my catchup and latte before I checked my mobile and realised I had four missed calls and five texts...... they consisted of

mum get out of town they have set Miss Selfridges on fire on market street
mum the buses are terminating outside the city centre and the mets have stopped running
and finally

mum this might be one of those times you shouldnt have your phone on silent...

when I looked around weatherspoons there was no indication of what was going on outside, oh dear....

We walked to deansgate locks and I got firstborn to come and collect me, thank the lord, we saw gangs of chavs going into town for some nought pence "late night shopping".... on getting home hubs said, never mind all that what are we going to do about this and he points to a budgie in a makeshift cage (the cage is our neighbours home made *squirrel catcher)... I peered in to find a frightened feathered thing which took me right back to the 70's and my grandma lambs house, she always had a budgie called Joey - where are these ancesters when you have proper questions? so as I pour myself a pear cider, completely breaking the NO MIDWEEK DRINKING RULE, I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do about the little bird that has now stopped shaking, puffed up its feathers and gone to sleep, I have put an old teatowel over the cage and checked he has enough bird seed and water, we dont do pets, we are all out every day, I suppose tomorrow could be spent looking for the nearest sanctury on google.....

and I am left thinking seriously did all that really happen....

*our neighbour humanely catches the squirrels and releases them into the wild - I have no idea why.

** Sean found the budgie on the school fields being hunted by two nasty magpies, he rescued

Lincoln Park Zoo and Ka bobs for Breakfast...

Today I looked at the pop up pocket map of chicago (with a snap of the blues brothers on the front) and thought we should cat the local bus to Lincoln Park and the city zoo, we got our all day tickets from Wal- greens (seriously I wish I had shares in that place, they are everywhere and whoever heard of a pharmacy that sells food and booze?) we caught the 151 bus up to the area known as Lincoln Park and got off at Dickens Avenue, after a walk up some leafy roads we come to the area they used to film The untouchables, leafy and individual houses, lovely. realising we had again forgotten all about breakfast (well apart from the two slices of Giodarnos pizza from the other night that is)... this was a neighbourhood with very few actual franchises, family run businesses all over, we find somewhere like looks greek and after a look along the menu, we decide on chicken kebabs, or as they say here Ka bob, salads and sodas you can refill until your so bloated you can burp the alphabet.....now you wont see that on sessamee street.....

Next we find Oz Park, so called as the area had the nickname of the emerald city due to the amount of Irish who live there,and appropriately enough there are massive scultpures of the main characters from the film, Dorothy and toto, she even has shiny red slippers on, the tin man, the lion and the scarecrow. There wasnt any witches I suppose that could frighten the kids.

Lincoln zoo wasnt far and as its a city zoo its free, yes nought pence so anyone can go, non of the expense of Chester Zoo we have had to find in the past, and kids are the same anywhere the monkey show there red bottoms and the kids laughed and pointed, although I did over hear some teenagers asking if the apes were male or female and the reply he got was why do you fancy it?

Moving right along to a water fountain where we gladly fill up our bottles, and over the freeway bridge on foot to the beach, there is a public warning about fog which says people can only go in the lake for a couple of feet as the lifeguards wont be able to see them. I looked in the distance and saw a man on a horse, maybe it was the loan ranger........

Batman Live and an early baby!

Birth stories are many things, sometimes gory, sometimes harrowing and only occasionally (thank the good lord) with way too much detail, ahem......

This birth story is wonderful, its got everything in it Batman, Catwoman, Robin, the joker, and a trip to St Mary's Hospital on the way home and finally, a wonderful curtain call and introduction to a new life (I am getting way too mushy here) and this is the story of Baby Anna Rose McManamon.....

Mrs Mc finished work and said fairwell to her chums at MBS and was looking forward to three weeks with her lovely little boy Michael, he was looking forward to the family ticket mum had won to see Batman Live at the MEN arena, clever mummy had won a family ticket to the show on sunday 17th July, midway through the show there was not so much pain but a definite tightening and a feeling of something inpending..... not wanting to spoil anyones fun (is this girl a saint or what?) she soilders on to the end and when they all reach the car she requests they make a slight change of route to the hospital "just to be on the safe side", on getting to the professionals she was told she was in labour and it would be best to stay in..... like I said I am not one for gory details (trust me the story doesnt need any its perfect as it is)...............................................................

and a few hours later with only gas and air, and a quick shot of meptid (yeah and you thought rambo was hard) a beautiful baby girl weighing in at just under 7 pounds (its enough to pay as my dad would always comment on birth weights)... a few hours later an emotional first meeting of big brother Michael and a perfect little family was complete......

so that knocked ont he head the perfectly planned three weeks of rest whilst the Mac family had their kitchen finished, and that very often is life, you cant contain it or plan it it just happens.......

And as Robin once said to Batman.... Holy bill of rights batman, she's no dance teacher thats Catwoman ......

Matilda

Such a lovely name, only served in 12 oz glasses (whats that all about?) well hey buddy let me fill you in on that one .............


Picture the scene, its hot and i mean hot 108 in the shade and there is a lot of shade around in the form of skyscrapers, but the concrete seems to absorbe so we are warm in a sauna kind of way, my hair is floppy and lank which makes a change as it usually looks like an explosion in a wig factory!

Anyway we walked up Rush Street and saw our first Irish bar, called the Pepper Cannister (it really should be called the Pepper Pot I think) we order two Matilda's which is a lovely wheat ale, served in a large wine glass, we were really for a proper thirst quenching pint really but if you dont specify you want a pint then they automically serve you with a 12 oz glass, we sipped as we perused the menu (I said at one point, I like this holiday its like a full week of dates) Sean chose black and blue burger, and I went for chopping board salad, and after drinking just 6 onces of my delicious Matilda I felt it had gone straight up to a soft point in my brain marked LEATHERED. I told sean " I think this is really strong stuff", he said "Nah, its probrably a bit of heat exhaustion", and then he ordered two more.

Well suffice to say I couldnt finish the second one, he helped me out and when our meals were complete we went outside where I couldnt take a snap of him outside the bar without cutting either his head or feet off and he had to agree that it was indeed very strong (why do boys never listen?)

We staggered into a trader Joes store and got two bananas and bottled water and must have stunk like a couple of drunks the girl on the till said with a nod

Hey what a great combination, H20 and potassium, exactly what you need on a day like today......

My lips were numb and I may have said yesh....

it was by now 4pm and we had to go back to the Hard Rock Hotel for a lie down, what a couple of lightweights.

Dont worry that wasnt us for the night we were back out for 9.00pm :P

Chicago Deep Dish

We found the best place in chicago to get an authentic deep dish and there was a queue, a really long one, I figured it was a good sign and it was perhaps the only place where the staff were a bit off with you, I think they were just worn out and sick to death of pizza maybe? (I know sean was by the time were were leaving) the one we chose was an 18" deep dish, stuffed crust special, containing, peppers, mushrooms, sausage and god knows what else, we ordered and left our name at the desk and got a pitcher of ale and found somewhere to sit whilst we waited for our name to be called out, you were literally waiting for a table to empty, "Kenny party of two", the exhausted man said over the tanoy and off we went, they brought out our monster of a pizza, which seemed like a cross between a pizza and a quiche, it was about 3 or 4 inches thick, I dont think anyone managed to finish them as everyone was leaving with a take home box, including us.... what an experience,,, we strolled back to our hotel and along the way saw a couple of homeless people with the giordianos boxes, I think people who had had meals regularly donated to the homeless, I bet they are sick of them.

yum, didlee yumtious...

Buddy Guys Legends

Sean was made up when we turned a corner and there it was, we checked the door and went inside ordered a couple of pints of an ale called Goose the handpump was the shap of a goose and very cute, the two guys sat to my right were real ale experts and I listened as they discussed their hobby, which was all very interesting, sean was looking all around the walls and I took some snaps, I had a bit of suntan lotion on my eye so a couple of the snaps are a bit blured but it felt like quite a find.

I think the snaps speak for themselves here, all the collaborations and all the people who have played blues and jazz at the venue, fabtastic!

Heat Warnings and Waterfalls

The heat warnings on the american tv channels we watched each morning whilst slurping our coffee in the room were scary, (the reporters had so much makeup on they looked like extras from Dallas) they were giving reports of heat up to 108 degrees, and recomended anyone without air con to get out of their homes and into museums, libraries and any public places to keep cool, they said to keep rehydrated and call on elderly neighbours, so it was serious stuff.

We left the hotel and were immediatly hit by a blanket of heat that would have dried three lines of washing in 10 mins (always looking for the positive, thats me) we found explored the local parks of millenium, grant, we were near the water fountains in grant park and the kids looked like they were having so much fun I wanted to join in too. So I did and then I dared hubs and he did too, we were soaked to our underwear and thought a good walk would dry us off which is did, we went in search of China town and found Buddy Guys Legends instead.......

Navy Pier and Pints

Navy Pier was a derelict pier that was reclaimed by the city and renovated as an open space for the public and people of chicago to enjoy, hence nought pence to enter and many attractions along the way, we found a bar and sampled a couple of pints of a local ale called 312 (which is the chicago postcode) very nice it was too. We had planned to get a water taxi back into town but in a moment of weekness I gave a old veteran $10 for a photocopy of his original poems and had a discussion about Margaret Thatcher, I told him the Thatcher the milk snatcher story..... for some crazy reason he thought she was the best thing to have happened to the UK? anyway after much consideration and the long journey back to our hotel its very possible he

wasnt a vietnam veteran
the poems werent his
and his name was fake along with his ID

oh well, just shows you how vulnerable you can be to suggestion after two pints of home brewed ale.

Chicago - Monday

I first woke at 6.00am, looked out the window at the fab view and decided I needed a couple more hours of shut eye, remember, sleep deprivation Is a form of torture and this is a holiday...

Back up at 9.00am and I made us two cups of Jet Fuel Coffee (thats what it said on the container) it did the job and we set off with a small pop up pocket map of chicago and found the famous Chicago Theatre, breakfast was next on the cards and we walked into a mexican caffe, we ordered mexican breakfast wraps, they consisted of omelate sante fe with peppers, spicy sauce and bacon, unusual but something i could get used to. refreshed and refuelled we found the Sears Tower (now renamed the Willis Tower) they have the famous skydeck and great views of the city so up we went, 103 floors, I must be getting braver as I didnt even feel the usual nausea and fear as we got higher in the lift, I even posed for a snap on the glass floor and was able to stand without my knees trembling. On the way out there was a gift shop (I do love a gift shop) and the ones attached to American attractions are always imaginitive if not just plain crazy. I was not to be disappointed this time as they had a fancy dress outfit to make you look like president Lincoln, complete with hat, which I persuaded a very reluctant hubs to try on for a snap. Now you may think that is wacky but later on in the week I actually saw a tourist wearing one, mind you it was by then 108 degrees and maybe it was the only hat she had with her.....

Fantasy Island

In a dreamlike state we unpacked made ourselves a cuppa (we had an ace drink making machine called a Keurig - I have seen them demonstrated in Selfridges) you had these little containers you put in one part then a mug full of water etc.... great fun and the cuppa was ok too...

we got changed, and got a fist full of dollars and we were out on the magnificent mile for 3.30pm......

We found a massive statue of Marilyn Monroe, lots of posh shops like bloomingdales, macys and Hersheys, we found Oprah Winfreys studio and saw a group of people who looked like they were heading to a beach so we followed them, after the shops ended there was a subway we carried on following and the subway came up to a wonderful beach which somehow looked out of place with a backdrop of sky scrapers, I announced ...."this is like something off fantasy island" because thats what it felt like, tired and hungry we headed back to our hotel to sink three pints of Samuel Adams summer ale and there hard rock burger, which was all very nice, it being a sunday night we had the bar to ourselves and chilled out watching back to back rock music videos...... Later asleep in our room, I heard someone knocking on the room next door, a secret knock, in fact it was the intro to YYZ which I thought was so random I must have dreamt it...... wondering what adventures the next day held I drifted off in a mist of ale and antihistermines (I always get bitten by the bugs when its hot, they find my rare blood group tasty).....

Chicago here we come.....

Arriving at O'Hare Airport at Chicago time of 1.15pm (though our bodies were registering 7.15pm) we collected out luggage went through the imigration checks, yes we had our visas, yes we packed the bags ourselves etc, it isnt worth being either funny or arsey to the airport staff, they dont want to be your friends they want to know your not a terrorist, so after the finger print check and they had asked us our business in the USA and they felt suitably satisfied we wished them and their nation no harm we were allowed through

Having read three guide books on the city I felt we could dispense with the taxi route and do public transport, I knew we needed to find the "L" (elevated transport system) into the city, we were the blue line and it would be 17 stops and take just 40 minutes, we used the ticket machine and for just $2.25 we got to Chicago city and got off on Clark/Lake stop, four blocks from our hotel which took just 10 minutes to walk, oh lord it was hot, having come from pissy old manchester on a cold sunday morning I had jeans, trainers and a coat, so arriving at our hotel was wonderful.

I checked us in with J.B. On the desk, told him it was for Hubs 50th and he upgraded us, we were on the 14th floor and our room was fab, with a great view..... the holiday begins here.....
how far are you prepared to go?

Wedding Bells .......

I have never understood until now, why people cry at weddings, after all when your young and have only ever been to celebrations for 18ths and 21sts then the odd engagement party thrown in for good measure, whats the big deal with a wedding, well here is the deal, I am now in my forties (I wish someone would say really? and mean it) yes forties, hubs is now in his 50's and we have had a decade at least of illnesses various, some more serious than others and let me tell you it makes you cherish each and every happy event in a way you never did before...

So after our day at poppit beach and goood old catchup with my former work colleagues from Manchester Uni and a few scoops of ale and damn good ......nights sleep (steady on) well it was more of a coma as we had drank a fair bit......

we got all suited, booted, fascinated, spanxed (is that even a word) and headed to St Thomas church in the beautiful village of St Dogmeals and watched a beautiful, smiley and 10 minutes early bride arrive at the church to marry the groom, we sang, we smiled and I admit that my eyes felt that prickle of pending tears that I have never ever experienced at a wedding before, so if I reach a ripe old age it will be proper crying, complete with snotty bubbles at future weddings, I cant wait.......

Cardigan here we come ......

Last weekend me and hubs were lucky enough to be travelling down to Cardigan in Wales,much further than familiar cricieth and just as beautiful. We set off very early and by around 10ish we saw a sign for RHUG, we stopped looked as some real live bison (straight out of a western) I admit I wanted to round um up swirling rope and in my head this would work, then I thought logically and I am not a cowboy, I have trboulbe with corodiation and i could come a cropper, so, we just had a bison burger and a cup of tea in the cafe, the sun was coming out and it showed all the promise of a nice day. The sat nav lady was just beginning to get on our nerves as we pulled into a municipal carpark in cardigan town and got out to stretch our legs, we had a stroll around and then I saw the groom, completely by chance so hubs put on a deep voice and shouted hey McGlinchey (why do boys think this is so funny?) anyway after hugs all round, yes the bride was with him and her lovely matron of honour too, they were going to have their manicures ahead of the big day, not sure what the groom was up to. We got our chicken and chips and headed to a fab beach called poppit.

I do like to take a pebble from each beach visited, it feels like i am taking a little of the seaside home with me. Poppit beach is very flat and very sandy but not much int he way of pebbles, in fact there were just 4 and now there are just 3.

I had the picnic rucksack with me and we ate our chips with proper cuttelry (non of your plastic or wooden forks for us kennys) we also shared a cold can of lager in proper glasses.

We saw a sign that read "Cardigan Museum" and decided how random it would be to have a museum of all the different cardigans in the world, you could start with the matinee jackets in lemon knitted by grannies, right to the arran chunky cardigans perfect for cold days and fisherman........

Broken promises and flipcharts

My dad had a saying that certainly rings true despite it being over 30 years since I still heard it as a teenager and thought “what is he on about”?

He said someone will walk a mile to borrow something from you, but cant cross the road to give it back..... never did this saying ring more true than yesterday this is the story.....

Texts: LJK to MK - do you have a flip chart in your office
MK – LJK – Yes
LJK - MK Can I borrow it for a few hours, I am in meeting rooms above a bar and they dont have one.
MK - LJK - I will ring you....

So I did ring and got the version of events of first born that made me say YES. How I got the flip chart to him went like this.....

After some subtle distractions to a couple of work colleagues in the form of a round of drinks (tea of course this is a work situation) I wedged the door open and carefully carried the flipchart stand down in the lift 10 floors. 5 mins later first born came round for it, I said the following and even as the words left my mouth I wouldn’t have gone to betfred and put money on it for one second, but it didnt stop me going through the motions...

This needs to be back here tomorrow, if it gets lost of stolen or broken you have to replace it.

He assured me in front of the receptionist (so i do have a witness) that he would collect it from Bachanalia at 9.00am and deliver it to my building so I could place it back and no one would be the wiser....... this is what happened next

He didnt come home that night, he didnt come home the following morning and I rang left messages on email and mobile, then finally he rang at 9.55am, to say he was now at home and could I go to Bachanalia and just say I was a work colleague of his and had come to collect the stand. This wasnt what we agreed at all.

I told my work colleagues I was going to get milk for the office as we had run out and trotted off to bachanalia, I was enormously lucky that a member of staff was outside and about to have a cig break, she showed me up 6 flights of stairs to the flipchart which had been unused ! I carried it down the 6 flights again and over uneven terrain in the rain back to my building, back up in the lift and in the hall, where it was now 10.10am and a meeting was due to start at 10.15am in our meeting room and possibly requiring the flipchart........ as you can imagine I am now exhausted, perspiring and just as I think I have got a way with it a voice says, “Maria, what is the flip chart doing out there”......

First borns biggest worry in all this was in his words “dont tell the girl at bach your my mum or anything, I was trying to hit on her and I dont want all that “Oh he’s my boy” type of conversation going on ......

My biggest worry, was getting the flipchart back in the meeting room before it was missed.

I have learnt a valuable lesson

I managed it and exactly 5 minutes after I replaced the flipchart in the meeting room, two visitors arrived and the meeting went ahead.

It certainly was a close one.........

If first born were anyone else I dont know that I could have forgiven him, as it stands I almost do, but there were lessons learnt...

My Fab Week

Tuesday after work I went to a loccitane evening at the shop on king street, the ticket was a tenner. They locked the doors and we had fiz, canapés, cakes and I had an arm, hand and cuticle massage with shear butter. I bought a nice shower gel and a mini sheer butter that just about does everything, it will come in handy on that long hall flight to Chicago next month, for lips and eyes and cutticles etc.

I spent nearly an hour there then called into Waitrose which is attached to boots on market street, at the end of the day they do mega markdowns I got a huge bag full of high quality scran for £3.30, only they let me use my boots clubcard points so it was well and truly nought pence!

Wednesday night after work me and Sean went to see Styx, Foreigner and Journey, we had a couple of pints in the hard rock cafe and first born collected us. It is lovely to have a willing chaufer after all these years, I suppose I should keep on the good side of him and stop nagging when he leaves me three pans, two mugs and various glasses all in the sink for my return from 7 hours at work.....

Thursday, I have started a new trend of always booking the day off following a gig, I feel cheated if i have to rush around to get home or out to work the next day. It feels like a reminder that the good times are just fleeting and I need to get back on the treatmill. As I comp fanatically I end up signed to many websites and from time to time the random and abstract invitations do indeed come my way, this week it was to a book launch at Selfridges 1-2 so took my working from home mate there (after all it was a lunchhour) we had fizz, canapés and cakes again (I do like a good canapé) we met the author Tasmina Perry and she gave us her new book and signed it, then as nails inc were the promoters we got a free nail colour each, and managed to quaff some more cava and canapes before heading to WHSmiths as my friend had been ordered to buy a scientific calculator.

Friday, back to work today and there was a Malibu promotion on in St Annes Square, so I got a free cocktail, nailvarnish and my nails painted by nails inc a lovely orange its got a base coat, colour and top coat so it should last a few days.

Saturday the decks were cleared today, no visitors, I didnt have to go anywhere so I spent 4 hours cleaning with kate bush on my ipod (the directors cut) strictly for the fans as the songs are the same just the arrangements differ, but me and Kate have been together since 1977 and I saw the very groundbreaking "Wuthering Heights" on top of the pops (thank god they didnt allow pans people to taint the image by dancing to it), hubs had Emerson Lake and Palmer on which on the whole I dont mind, though the lyrics start getting trippy and I have to leave and find refuge in my all time favourite charity shop, MANACARE, I spent £10.50 but I cant remember on what, its prob still in the back of my car.

Sunday came and went and it rained, rained and rained some more, I didnt mind as my garden was looking more beautiful and green by the hour......

No ones getting out alive...........

I am aging, there is no getting away from it and as I said to my mum, this is life NO ONE GETS OUT ALIVE and hopefully very few with a full head of nut brown curls.


So going grey isnt something I worry about too much, I have started to have my hair highlighted and was informed by my hairdresser last week "OMG you are so grey", of course the reply i wanted to give was NO SHIT SHIRLOCK (as in Holmes) but I just asked her what percentage, she said thoughtfully 30% and I thought that was an accurate assumption.

I did purchase and use a kit to dye my eyebrows brown, as they had all but disappeared and drawing them back in wasnt a success, I ended up drawing them too high and looking permanently suprised.

So my hair was high lighted and the thng I liked best was that I have a section near my (almost grown out) fringe where it must have had a lot of grey and its gone white, snowy white like father christmas and I rather like it it reminds me of a Mallon Streak.

Another point on aging, I mood swings will be the norm for the next few years”, great.... does that mean I can go shop lifting in st annes square and legitimately get away with it?

I digress, but then why would I not, its a crazy mixed up bag of a world we live in.

As I thought last night comeing home from work on the 256 and shouty man with tourettes was shouting sausages, hmmmn I havent had them in ages so thats what we will have for our tea, sausages, mash and cabbage that way I wont feel so guilty when I marinate my inners with good quality vodka and smart price cranberry juice over the weekend, god bless us one and all.

Losing Streak...

its fair to say I am going through a prize winning drought, i am ok with it as I have experienced it before, but I have also got to a point out that there has been less good quality opportunities around.

I checked out a weekly link (I am not at liberty to reveal this source as its ually a lucrative one and I dont want to share) but i didnt want to win either of the prizes, and to be honest if you had put both the prizes together it wouldn’t make them more appetizing they were

Two tickets to see ringo star in manchester
Tickets for you and a friend to go up in a hot air balloon

I didnt even bother.......

I would like to win something I can enjoy with feckles and one of them is a makeover, overnight stay and tickets to the comfort high street fashion awards taking place in London in September, the tickets to buy are 95 quid each and although you do get a goody bag worth 70 quid and a four course meal, its still out of my new purse friendly austerity agenda (skint). I have been trying to win this price for the last five years maybe this year will be my lucky break.

The other comp is “embarrassing dad”, its a vote one but as i always say nothing ventured....... so armed with a funny snap and 50 words written by feckles about why her dad should win i pressed send on the email at 11.30 last night just as my peepers were involuntarily closing – home measures of gin and tonic can be so haphazard!

That prize if i read it correctly is a mixed bag of experiences worth a grand total of 2,500. So that would be nice (as long as there isn’t a balloon ride with ringo star in there) I saw him on the one show and I dont know if he was just having a bad day but he never cracked a smile and was a complete charisma bypass. In fact if he came out and said “Not only was I not the best drummer, i wastn even the best drummer in the beatles”, i might have respect for him, but the old lady on the harp would be a better drinking buddy.

Purse Friendly

this month is all about saving the pennies, last month turned our joint account into something akin to a black hole (you know, it doesn’t matter how much you put in it just vanished).

5 weeks of mayhem, what with city at wembly, rush at the Men, then roger waters, then back to wembly again.... my car insurance on the new cutie (Ford KA) fayes hair disaster being sorted out at Selfridges (yes Selfridges!) and I admit I bought a few too many plants in b and q (so sue me.... actually dont I cant pay).

Anyway thats were we are, got paid checked what has to come out this month and was has gone in and i think PROCEED WITH CAUTION (if i was thinking road signs that is).

So I swapped the cans of lager and cider this weekend for a carton of cranberry juice 65p from quality save, as I have vodka and Bacardi in. Of course I wont force sean to drink a girls drink and will get him some stella (two large bottles for £3 at sainsburys). Instead of sainsburys big shop tonight, it will be targeted shopping at aldi at lunchtime where I plan on purchasing a leg of lamb to defrost tomorrow and cook on Sunday. I have aunt bessies in the freezer/mash and roasts.

Makeup, well i ave run out of foundation but have lots of sachets I can us up, each sachet last five days, you just put a pin prick in one side and squeeze a bit out every day. As for other stuff, shower gels etc, well still using up the stuff i got for chirstmas and my birthday so thats cut down. There are a few things I wont/cant cut out, first born needs his protein food to complete his plan to look like Johnny bravo and feckles needs her packed lunch essentials. I have made three wedding cards and an engagement card from craft stuffs in my cupboard.

More on this story later.

Come on City, Come on City....

Hubs had a ticket for the final in the bag two weeks ealier, the desperate hunt for a ticket for first born was proving unlikely despite everyones efforts. A last minute phone call to hubs asking modes of transport as his lift had pulled out " does that mean you have a spare!"?, so on saturday 14th May, I took three city fans who all admitted to nerves and a lack of sleep the night before, to a collection point in Salford, where they got on a minibus with a collection of other fans, dont think for even one moment that any of these boys (and girl) checked if it was the cocktail hour, oh no the first ringpull was pulled at precisely 6.12am, so hubs texted me.

I couldnt go back to sleep so came home and sorted my house out, I had pretty much done the lot by 10.30am, and I was off to my trusty charity shop for a chat with Alice, whose late hubs, son and grandson are all city fans, a very emotional conversation took place as she said her hubs would have loved to have lived to see this day. Her own preparations included decorating his graveside with blue and white flowers and a scarf and at home she hung his city shirt on the picture rail.

I found I couldnt watch the match as I was only interested in one outcome and as that couldnt be guaranteed i had to find other things to do.

Me and youngest headed to the traff centre, where the big screen was showing the game and I counted a small group of city fans watching as close to the screen as possible. After we had had a cuppa and a posh cake (Lemon Merange thanks feckles X) we left the food court to the standing ovation city got, I cant describe how pleased I was and then my mobile went and hubs sounded emotional, I had one word to say, WONDERFUL.

They got back to salford around midnight and unable to get a taxi I went out to get them, my driving skills (or lack of) are fairly legendary and I have been through the embarrassement, the shame and now I feel it is up to others to accept my limitations and if they want a lift they keep there negative comments to themselves.

Admitedly I did mount the curb, drive on the wrong side of the road and at only just stop at that red light as they got in my little car. First born said some very spiteful things until good old Lowry said "now come on lee your ma has been good enough to collect us", then he took the the very necessary role of co pilot very well.

Once home we were all too fired up to sleep, massive mugs of tea and malt loaf were required, before we headed to slumber around 2.30am, and my last words to hubs were
I am so pleased you won, with all your support throughout the year you deserve it, but that lee needs to stop being so picky about my driving...........


Mrs Mahoo did pass her driving test, she didnt (has been suggested) swap carnal services for her pass certificate.....

Synchronicity

A star fall, a phone call, it joins all, Synchronicity

Where did you met? ..... 1985 in the Salsbury, newly single and eternally relieved I vowed I wouldn’t bother to get too close, or allow anyone to swallow my personality whole ever again, next time it would have to be someone or something I couldn’t live without.........

Walking into the Salsbury with my friend Claire, she introduced me, saying "this is Sean, I am sure you have met before", I looked upon someone who was honest, when he asked If I would like a drink I remember saying “I cant buy you one back, I dont have enough money on me”, he said I didnt ask you that, do you want a drink, yes or no, and I said yes.

The three of us went to Jillies to meet up with the rest of the gang and my friend says, I think he wants to go out with me but I dont know, I might get back with my ex, and I said, you are mad he is lovely, a decent, kind man, who just happened to be funny too. She got back with her Ex, who was a loser (why she never saw It I dont know) It was on talking that I realised I had met him before at least twice and I had heard him on the radio and this is the story....

Summer 1981

I was 14 my dad had just passed his driving test and me, mum and dad went to Chatsworth House, it was lovely, and I remember looking round the house, the violin painted on the back of the door that looks 3d, the gardens, and then into the shop afterwards I coveted the colouring in sheets but was propbrally too old for them, we came out and my dad said, go back and get them if you want, he gave me some money and so I did, as I walked back I passed a man and a woman in biker leathers, I had a rock t shirt on of course and faded jeans, and the uniform of the time was Dunlop greenflash, awkward and gangly no doubt with my almost grown out shaggy perm, I look at the man and he smiled and nodded (it was a rock thing) recognition, they were both rockers and I was too (even if I wasnt ready to stop colouring in) it was sean.

We know you, they know me
Extrasensory
Synchronicity

Summer 1983

The year I left school, sunbathing in my back garden I tuned into sweeny’s dead good, dead hard quiz”, the caller was Sean working in a colour lab in Manchester, weltering hot but having sporadic water pistol fights with his work mates to cool off, he got the answer right


The answer was – Dyer Straights

As they played the song in full I turned it off (I had listened to more Mark Knopfler than I could stomache courtety of my big brother and was cooking up a plan to wean him off the straights forever......I did with Marillion, but that is another story.....



November 1984

I was seeing Mick Clayson, who I had had a major crush on from being 15, despite my looking at him lots I had to actually broadcast the fact I was interested and liked him and see if he was up for taking me out, so its a Monday night and we are at the Brookfield rock disco on the A6, got our drinks and went downstairs, there wasn’t enough seats, so my friend Carol asked the couple in the dark corner,"are these seats taken", the man got up and brought the chairs over to us with a smile, I didnt at the time connect, we had been going out a couple of weeks and the penny dropped...


So fast forward and I am sinking a pint and getting to know this man and I said, have you ever been to Chatsworth House, he said, yes I went when I first got my motorbike I was 20 , I havent been since though.

With one breath, with one flow
you will know
Synchronicity

Did you used to go to the Brookfield on a Monday night? Yes he said I lived near there with my girlfriend we used to go,


A sleep trance, a dream dance
A shaped romance
Synchronicity

and finally, "do you remember that sweeney, dead hard, dead good quiz on piccadilly radio? and he said, funnily enough I got on in a couple of times, and once I got the answer right and won something, cant remember what it was though......

Thats my story, its got no conclusion and I dont feel the need prove it or have it believed it just is what it is.

A star fall, a phone call
It joins all
Synchronicity


After all these years hubs has never said what he thinks of any of it, there is a chance he doesn’t believe I remembered him from a chance meeting when I was 14 and he was 20 with his older girlfriend.... and thats just fine....

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

Over a year ago my youngest told me she wanted to celebrate her 18th Birthday in New York, and was saving up for it. I know enough about this child to know that if she says she will do something she will (as my good friend and former work colleague once observed - your frightened of her arnt you, and Yes I was and I am, how much easier that she is now old enough to make all her own decisions, in actual fact she could have been and I should have let her do that from about 15 onwards then we wouldnt have had those awful slammed doors, crying and at times physical violence - dont let anyone tell you raising kids is fun or easy, but it is always an adventure)

Anyway rewind to 27th April and the day of the holiday, her and her boyfriend Seb had stayed the night before at ours, she had arranged for her dad to drop them off at the Airport and I accompanied them to departures..... after much hugging and checking they had their passports etc, we waved them off, I was dropped off at my GPs, to get a much needed prescription for Lanzoprazole for my Gastric reflux, completely and utterly stress related, more of that at a later date, the lead up to the hols wasnt plane sailing, but then life rarely is........

So for the week I was keeping in touch on facebook, hearing tales of their adventures, and looking at the odd uploaded snap, they enjoyed bloomingdales, central park, the zoo, victorias secrets got a lot of mentions and the empire state building was climbed, I am guessing on the inside, but knowing my feckles adventurous streak nothing would suprise me. I think the main thing I feel is complete and utter pride that she is a get up and go person, who makes her own decisions, doesnt hide behind a man for anything she wants and is independant, the Pankhursts would be truly proud as indeed me and her dad are.

thats all I have to say about that.......


mahoo

Royal Wedding Party

Despite being married to a man of Irish Catholic descent (and all that entails, the drinking, pictures of the Pope at home when he was growing up, the Phenian Rebel songs Albumn on display, anything Irish being loved from Denny's puddings to Soda Bread, oh yeah and that whole republican thing.....) I took great joy in the Royal Wedding, and not just because of the double bank holiday bonanza... I do beleive in Love and Companionship and also he had to get a move on and marry the girl before he lost all his hair and she changed her mind...

So on Friday 29th April, after a good lie in till 10am, I was up dressed in a spotty dress, pearl earrings and matching necklace and with my "props" of A Teapot, and beautiful royal dalton china blue tea set courtesy of the charity shop for just £5. the lady said they were middle of the range wedding teasets that were for best, another era and all the more prescious for it)

The Youth Club team were in charge as part of their Inter Generational programme, the big screen was on with the wedding and seated at various tables was local elderly residents, now if you were expecting a sedate affair you were very much mistaken, from the ahhhing at the beautiful dress Kate wore, to the Booing when they came out onto the balcony for the Kiss, when one lady shouted PATHETIC, not passionate enough, then another defended poor william and said he had blushed and was just shy......

after a much enjoyed buffet lunch and a glass of something fizzy, onto the competition of dressing a pair of gingerbread people as the bride and groom, one lady had the ingenius idea to make a wedding dress out of a white napkin and to use the squeazy icing to decorate wils jacket. One raucaus bunch got a bit racy with the decorations, and made Wils trousers rather revealing, her protests of "They were buttons and they just dropped" wasnt beleived by anyone, too much lambrini I fear....

A very enjoyable day was had by everyone and I returned home to find my Republican hubs complaining and how much the wedding must have cost us all, but he was watching it. When firstborn came home he said "I would like to be in the middle of a middleton sandwhich between Kate and Pippa", hubs added, and the mother is not too bad either.........

Honestly

The Amber Gamblers return.....

Remember these two, well they had to be up for 8.00am to get to Bury for their Driving awareness course, it was 3.5 hours long and I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry that they were using up a valuable Saturday morning.
The night before Hubs said “what should I wear”? my suggestion of matching orange suits was suitably ignored (again) followed by a bit of banter about how I would never get flashed as I don’t go fast enough, true, I stay at 28-30MPH and like it that way thanks very much.
Apparently they were asked to write down on an A3 piece of paper the reasons why they went through a red light, then after much discussion they realised the difference between a reason and an excuse.
Whilst all this was going on i was pushing an unruly trolley in b and q with my mum and a long list of gardening and DIY requirements, all I was missing was a pencil behind my ear. I have figured out why men love b and q so much it’s because:
They can say Screw and flange as much as they like and not offend anyone, they can scratch themselves on their heads and crotch with their car keys (I witness both on aisle 9 – electrical switches) and its one place they feel they have the upper hand on knowledge, even if they don’t.